I was having a conversation with a group of people recently where the comment was made that you shouldn’t give someone negative feedback unless you are in person. In a hybrid or remote environment that means you hold onto the feedback until a meeting can happen, all while the employee has no idea that they aren’t producing the results required of their role. And my question is, why?
There are so many underlying thoughts that I believe feed this approach that honestly have little to do with whether it’s in person or remote.
Doing this remotely is cold-hearted.
We need to experience what their emotions are so we can talk them out of them.
Accountability conversations have to be punitive.
People should feel bad or shameful when getting negative information about their performance.
Telling someone how their work is short of the goal is a bad thing.
What if none of this had to be true?
To me, one of the worst things you can do as a manager is make arrangements to see one of your employees for the first time in months only to deliver a bombshell of negative information that surprises them.
Instead, we can empower our employees by being very clear and consistent. Clearly articulate what is expected of their role. What results do they have to produce in order for the company to get their return on investment for the salary they provide? Give them space to ask questions, identify barriers, and request help. Talk to them consistently about the relationship between the work they are producing and what you need them to be producing
Consistency and predictability builds trust. It is possible to have multiple conversations about a person’s performance not meeting expectations and still maintain a great relationship. It doesn’t always mean they will choose to do what you ask and you may still have to let them go, but that clarity and openness will make the process so much easier on both of you. To me, that’s the ultimate in compassion for an individual. Be willing to hold up the mirror and allow them to see the truth instead of protecting them or shielding them from it. Then let them choose the path they take. No more beating around the bush about what you need and hoping they can read your mind.
Both my kids play competitive soccer and they are drawn to the coaches whom they learn from. They love walking away from a practice feeling like they have a new skill to implement that makes them a better player and ultimately helps their team. Why is it so different for a manager to say “Hey, I want you to win at this job. In order to do that, I need you to create X. Unfortunately, right now, you are creating Y instead. Let’s talk about what could be standing in your way to creating X”?
What are your thoughts about negative feedback? When do you give it? What do you focus on?