When the crises at work slow down and the work becomes management, do you allow yourself a break? I mean a real one, both mentally and physically. I see my clients doing what I did for years. It’s usually one of two options:
Option 1: Not doing much of anything physically while mentally pounding out what you hadn’t done during the period where work was in crisis. This looks like long “to do” lists that overwhelm you or mentally pointing out all the places in life where you fall short or could be just a wee bit better – including things like the messiness of your home entryway, the clutter in the corner of your office, what you fed your kids for dinner last night, and all the decisions you have yet to make. Ultimately, you end up paralyzed in avoidance.
Option 2: Jumping right into the next thing and if there isn’t a next thing, drumming up problems in your mind and convincing yourself that you must mentally work through them now because it is, in fact, your job to save the world from any sources of pain or discomfort.
So where is the part where you rest? You know, that part where you stop working physically and mentally in order to refresh yourself and recover your energy?
We seem to have forgotten what rest means. It’s like we were given only two modes – “On” and “Off with a side of Guilt and Self-criticism”. So we try to sleep more. That’s rest, right?! Sleep is a necessity for sure but it’s just table stakes, kind of like showering, eating and brushing your teeth.
Your body and mind need to rest. It’s one of the most basic forms of self-care. But most of us don’t even know what that means so I’m going to throw out some examples I’ve found to be helpful:
Give yourself a break and accept that you are meant to be right here, right now, exactly the way you are. You aren’t ahead or behind. You are perfectly situated for the next step, whatever that may be.
Find your tribe of girlfriends and when you are with them, focus on being “all in” and fully connecting with them, in the moment.
Connect with something bigger than yourself whether that be in your community, a cause, or spending time in nature.
Seek out places and people where you can be emotionally authentic without numbing your feelings, presenting a false positive outlook or even using negative emotion to gain attention. Just be you and that also means supporting yourself during and after, believing that how you showed up is exactly how you were meant to.
Clean out your brain by journaling. Don’t filter or judge your thoughts, just allow everything that is in your brain to flow out onto the paper.
Re-energize your body with a mobility workout. For some, yoga might be the answer while for others, moving through the body, joint by joint, for increased range of motion allows the natural tension to release and the body to regain its flexibility.
Allow your senses to take a break by driving without music or sound, putting away your phone and taking a walk, or shutting off TV’s, music or other sounds while you are getting ready in the morning or making dinner at night.
How do you rest? I would love to hear.