As we were driving yesterday, my husband looked into the distance and asked the question “Do you think what we are living through now is just the new normal?”
My brain’s first response was “Well, who decides what is normal?”
Merriam-Webster defines normal as “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine”. In that case, if disruption is expected and what is usual, then you could argue that it is normal. But how many people’s brains have conformed to expecting without serious thought behind it?
Consider the last time something at work had you really stressed. Maybe you were floating along just fine and the company came out and said they were changing strategic directions and eliminating products you support, you were told that you have to start coming into the office a few days per week again, or maybe someone on your team quit. It’s natural for the brain to have an instant reaction with thoughts like:
This can’t be happening. We need this product.
That’s so useless, it’s just a waste of time to drive all the way to the office.
This is terrible, no one else understands what this person does.
These thoughts are your brain judging the circumstance as bad and resisting reality. You can tell when you are in this state, because you’ll feel frustrated, maybe irritable, and tense. Physically, it may feel like the stress and pressure is mounting. It also seems very true and factual though, as if you can’t control it. It just is.
Most people don’t identify this as resistance, so how do you know if you aren’t resistant? It’s not happiness and positivity, it’s really just acceptance.
Of course this is happening. In hindsight, the signs were there.
We may not know the inner workings of this person’s responsibilities but we will figure it out.
Acceptance is letting in the possibility that this is exactly how it’s supposed to be and figuring out how to move forward from here.
So back to the original question around disruption being the new normal. Only you get to decide and the decision you make around what is normal is going to drive the amount of suffering you experience. So if you are experiencing a lot of disruption at work, doesn’t it make sense to just expect that to continue so you don’t waste all of your energy trying to fight it?
Leaders make conscious and intentional decisions. They don’t just allow the stories in their brain to take shape on their own because the brain is wired to resist change. It’s the motivational triad – seek pleasure, reduce pain, and expend as little energy as possible. To our brain, disruption means pain, discomfort, and change, which is the opposite direction that it naturally wants to go. But in this case, the story your brain has about disruption is simply wrong and won’t serve you.
It’s time to make your own conscious decisions on what is normal and how much energy you want to spend either embracing or resisting reality. That’s what leaders do.
What will you decide?