It has happened again. Your boss comes to you with the news that decisions have been made. The organization is changing again and this time it impacts you. This has happened to me more times than I can count and whether you work in change management or middle management (aren’t they one in the same these days?!), oftentimes the decisions are made and then handed to you for the “spin”.
Take this decision that we made without your involvement and even though our reasoning is only half-baked or not communicated to you at all, make it look pretty so the people working for you buy-in from the start.
Whether you like it or not, how you respond to that challenge is going to depend largely on how you view the change relative to yourself. Some questions you can ask yourself:
What does it mean for me?
Do I believe all the meaning that my brain assigns to it?
How can this be an opportunity for me?
How can this be an opportunity for the organization?
When you are in the middle layers of an organization, the meaning we can give to things can easily get to us. You have more information than most and start to see what’s behind the scenes. At the same time, there are still decisions made above you every single day that don’t involve you. The inconsistency can start to play tricks with our brain as we try to live between the two worlds of being heavily involved and informed on one side and not informed at all on the other.
When we get surprised, our mind can easily go to:
I wasn’t in the room.
I am not valued.
I am just the person who cleans up the messes the executives make.
From that perspective, what happens? You start to shrink, questioning yourself and others. You start to see your flaws and forget about the times when you are leading. Your mind starts to create a case for all the times the organization undercuts your value and you no longer see all the times that value is confirmed. Left unadvised, your brain creates a self-image that no longer fits you. A leader damaged and broken, not valued, good enough for the next step or for a seat at the table where important decisions are made, just the spin doctor who cleans up messes made by others.
This is why a strong self-image is so important in leadership, especially at the times when we are pushing the edge of our comfort zone in terms of the complex challenges we are facing. Unfortunately, most of us wait until we are in the thick of complexity before we try to put our minds around who we are and then create from a place of discomfort and inadequacy. Most commonly, I see my clients try to pull themselves out of judgment by comparing themselves to someone else’s version of ideal (I need to be more confident, I should be able to carry the flag without wavering, etc…), which really just results in more self-judgment. We only operate to the edge of our self-image, so this creates a scenario where our internal dialogue impacts our ability to show up at our best.
What if instead, you could start with a blank slate of your self image and create from that? How do you show up when you are at your best? Don’t talk yourself out of your strengths just because sometimes you get hijacked, but really focus on those moments and what qualities show up when you are operating at full capacity.
For example:
At my best, I am level-headed with a great balance between my ability intellect and my inner wisdom. I can articulate messages firmly and confidently and still connect with an audience by listening openly and with curiosity, finding points of mutual interests to move us forward. I can find the opportunity in any situation, even when that opportunity is simply managing to stay even-keeled in spite of dissatisfaction all around me. When I have a goal to achieve, nothing gets in my way.
Create that image in your head and use that as your guide to how you want to show up no matter the situation. When messages get handed down, remind yourself that business decisions are not something happening “to” you. They aren’t personal, your brain just makes them personal when it tries to give them meaning. Recognize when that is happening and pull yourself out of the situation to see it for what it is. Continue to anchor yourself with a strong self-image and lead from your own personal values. You got this!