One of the struggles I share with many of my clients is the need to be productive. We spend many of our waking hours working through long “to do” lists and not allowing ourselves the space to enjoy stillness and silence. Even when we do create the space for relaxation, we find something to occupy our minds, dramatic TV shows, books, even walking the dog or commuting has to involve a podcast or something distracting. Interesting enough, the reason for this is largely due to the discomfort of stillness. When we slow down, our minds get restless and the noise can be deafening. Thoughts start swirling of things we should be doing, things we should do better, things we forgot to do. It becomes so much more relaxing to just be active.
Why is that? It’s not uncommon for our brains to be drawn into activity. We start to crave action, change, and new ideas. Many times at work this becomes a competitive advantage. We become the early adopters and superthinkers, our minds constantly identifying new ways of working. Over time, it becomes a habit and when you combine that with cultural and societal beliefs around a need to always be productive, it can be hard to slow down. Next thing you know, even when you try to relax, self judgment will set in.
You shouldn’t be so lazy.
You could be doing x, y, z right now and using the time wisely.
You don’t deserve to be relaxing, there are things to do.
You’ll know when you’ve reached this place because rest doesn’t feel good. It’s ripe with some sort of negative emotion like anxiety, restlessness, or inadequacy. True relaxation is when you can be still with a positive self concept.
If this is you, notice when you are in this space and take a moment to breathe through it. Don’t resist the negative emotion or try to mentally bat it away as that will only increase the intensity of it. Bring your attention into the present moment, heightening all of your senses. Notice the colors and shapes around you. Take a moment to identify the different sounds and their volume. Gauge the temperature of the air, become aware of anything that is pressing against your skin and what the texture feels like.
Once you’ve grounded yourself in the present, get fascinated about what your brain is trying to tell you to do and why. Don’t be surprised if things start to pop up like:
The more value you provide to the world, the more money you will make.
Without money, you are nothing.
You need to keep moving up the ladder.
If you aren’t productive, you will fail or be fired.
You have to do it all to have it all.
Good people work hard.
Our brains can be very irrational about time and how it’s spent so it’s important to tap into our internal wisdom. When you consider that against the spectrum of your entire life and what’s most important, how does it change your perspective about this moment? What advice would your wiser, older self give to you?
Having a restless brain isn’t a character flaw that means you will never slow down. With awareness and practice, you can even enjoy the benefits of peace and calm without punishment. If this is a struggle for you, I would love to coach you. Book your free consultation here.