It’s not uncommon for my clients to bring concerns around balancing compassion and the need to drive results to their sessions. An employee with medical concerns, the need to care for ailing parents, or even a child going through hardship. Managing these items outside of work tends to bleed into work, whether it’s in the form of schedule flexibility or the need for emotional support. It’s a fine line between being a compassionate manager who acknowledges the difficulty of life while also getting the work done. How do you balance it?
First, having clear results and expectations for the work environment is crucial. The flexibility is so much greater when the result has been defined and you give the employee space to determine how they will achieve on their own terms. This also provides the clarity necessary for them to say it just won’t work and they can’t meet the requirements of the job. Too many times, we go down a path of vagueness, saying “just do what you can” and both parties end up losing. The employee no longer understands what is expected of them and you are constantly frustrated with what they aren’t doing, even though you haven’t told them what they must do. Clarity is a must in order to make an honest evaluation of what is or isn’t being achieved.
Second, it’s important for you to be clear with yourself on what your values are as a leader. When you allow those values to lead your decision making, you remain in your own integrity. When you can find the connection between your values and behavior, it’s so much easier to stand by your own decisions, no matter how other people choose to respond.
I have a value for connection and that means knowing and understanding what is going on in people’s lives is important. I also have a value for mental and physical health. If they need more than a quick check-in during a work meeting, I might choose to take one of several paths – schedule time outside of work hours for a personal conversation, offer resources that can help like EAP or even suggest that they take the day off and manage the situation so they can fully focus at work. Make conscious decisions on how you will interact in these situations ahead of time as these decisions will form a basis for your manager-employee relationships. Choosing to be the listening ear for everyone’s issues may mean strong friendships, but your duty and obligation is to ensure that the purpose of the department or organization is fulfilled. On the flip side, focusing on only business with no regard for people as humans can leave employees feeling like they aren’t seen or valued.
It is possible to be a strong connector without putting your management obligations at risk. Don’t allow your brain to try and convince you that it has to be one or the other. Simply know where to draw the line. Get clear on the results required, manage expectations against those by addressing issues directly, and give the employee space to work through what they need to.
Finally, don’t be afraid to end a meeting or interaction when the lines are getting blurred. If an employee is emotional and needs a listening ear, as their manager, you might not be the best party to offer that to them. Ask them to do what they need to work through the issue in the near term and reschedule your meeting for a time when they can come prepared to focus. Chronic issues may require a different strategy and support beyond what you can provide. Know your role and your limits. Be prepared to address those directly by restating expectations and sharing the resources available to help them or referring them to someone who can help.
Are you struggling to manage the balance between compassion and results at work? I would love to coach you. Set up your free consultation here.