I remember being in labor with my first child. I was having complications, but holding up well despite it, and the doctor asked me what I did for exercise. I gave him a couple of random examples including running on the treadmill which he latched onto and said “Oh that explains it, she’s a runner!” and my husband quietly snickered in the corner, knowing the truth. I was the girl who faked illness every year to get out of the 1 Mile Run as part of the Presidential Fitness Tests we had to take, just because I didn’t want to be the last one to the finish line. Yes, I did a random 5k now and then, but a runner? That’s a stretch.
Fast forward to today and I’ve run at least 3 half marathons and 1 full marathon in addition to my string of 5k and 10k’s and I still can’t bring myself to say I’m a runner. It’s the epitome of Imposter Syndrome. Because I don’t run by myself or to improve my time. Running was and still is hard for me, so is that a runner or isn’t it? The dictionary says it’s simply someone who runs, but I’ve created all these rules around it, to ensure that I don’t qualify.
We do the same thing with our work. We convince ourselves that we are not as competent as people believe us to be and fear being “exposed” as a fraud. The good news is that we create this in our mind and we can also unravel it in our mind.
Here are four steps you can take to overcome Imposter Syndrome in your own life:
- Create awareness – Explore your thoughts to figure out when it comes up. What is going on in your external world and what are you making that mean in your mind? Are there trends on what seems to trigger the feeling? What are you holding onto from your past that may distort your image of the present?
- Look for truth – Investigate the situation to figure out what is actually true in the situation. In my example, a runner is someone who runs. I know how to run.
- Accept that no journey is perfect – Sometimes we build this story in our minds that in order to be something, the journey needs to look a certain way, but what if that isn’t true? I don’t have to make running look easy to be considered a runner. As the definition says, I just have to run. Whether it’s a 6 minute mile or a 10 minute mile, it really doesn’t matter.
- Decide what you want your story to be – At the end of the day, no one gets to decide whether you step into your greatness or stay in Imposter Syndrome, except you. If you want to get out of self doubt, ask yourself what you could believe that is different? I’m not a solitary runner or a competitive one, but I run for community. To connect with family and friends through physical exercise, support charity and get some fresh air. That’s what kind of runner I am.
Just because you experience Imposter Syndrome doesn’t mean you are broken and you are definitely not alone. The key is understanding that it’s something our mind creates unconsciously and by creating awareness, looking for truth, getting rid of perfectionism and intentionally creating our story, we can overcome it.
Coaching is an excellent way to work through areas where you are experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Set up a free Mini Session here and let’s discuss whether it would be beneficial for you.