If I had to pick one emotion that has ruled my life and those around me, it’s overwhelm. When I’m overwhelmed, my shoulders start to creep up to my ears, the pace of my breathing gets really shallow and quick, and I feel like someone or something is pulling at my chest. My mind jumps from one subject to the next and back again like a computer with too many tabs open and I’m not really focused on anything except the fact that there is SO much to do, not enough time and if I don’t control ALL THE THINGS then something will blow up and it will be bad, really bad.
But really, will it?
How many times do we really step back, take a deep breath and ask ourselves “What is really going wrong here?” The answer is usually nothing. We will plan our time, put tasks on our calendar, people will ask for us to do something else when our time is already accounted for and we will make decisions on what we move, don’t move, add or get rid of. That’s it. Everything else is mind drama.
But our brains love to keep us in overwhelm, because it gets to stay stuck and avoid taking ownership. When I feel overwhelmed, I always imagine an old school pinball machine and I’m like the ball just bouncing around from obligation to obligation, giving over my power completely to the universe around me, and praying that I can hit the jackpot at some point. I become a victim of my calendar and stop managing my life proactively. I stop creating the world around me and merely exist in it. I tell myself that when XYZ happens, everything will be better, but it won’t because I will simply transfer the same unhelpful thoughts to the new scenario.
So how do you pull yourself out of overwhelm? Here are 3 simple things that work for me.
- Recognize it when it happens. At the beginning, I described what overwhelm feels like to me. What does it feel like for you? Take a moment to breathe through it and take note of what it feels like from head to toe.
- Take stock of what is going on in your brain. Most of our overwhelm is not caused by the external events around us but by all the chaotic thoughts we have about those events and our own personal ability to handle them. So what is true in this moment? Get down to the simple facts of the situation. You have x amount of time, you need to get so many things done, so what are you going to do or not do? That’s it. Clear out everything else.
- Make a conscious decision of how you want to feel at this moment. Most people will automatically say “I want to be happy” or “motivated” but I’m going to argue neither of those feelings are going to get the work done. When I’m happy, I flit around without a care in the world and I have absolutely no constraints on my time. Motivation is a very spontaneous emotion that can be extremely difficult to consistently create or maintain. Typically motivation is a cover for what is really an emotion like determination or commitment. My go-to’s for getting stuff done or working more effectively are focused and present. When I am focused, I’m not looking at notifications, I’m very clear on what I’m trying to achieve, how much time I have to get it done and I let everything else fall by the wayside. When I’m present, my brain is actively involved in only the task at hand, filtering out any other interruptions, including any of the brain drama. So what emotions get you out of overwhelm and back into the moment at hand?
Remember, when you are caught up in a state of overwhelm, nothing is going wrong. It’s not a disease that you can never get rid of. It’s not you being a victim of circumstance. It’s just your brain, telling you a story.
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